


My Hand is Offered (But Will You Take It?)

by tsukithewolf



Series: Written On Your Skin [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU where everything that happens to your skin happens on your soulmate's as well, Gen, I will be editing tags as necessary, M/M, Nonexplicit descriptions of abuse, Soulmate AU, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukithewolf/pseuds/tsukithewolf
Summary: Yoosung's history with his soulmate is tinted by pain, fear, and eventually protective fury.When he finally meets his soulmate...he's not sure what to think.





	1. Hatred

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to expand more on this soulmate AU I have going. Much like the last story in the series these chapters will be short and more drabble-like than anything. You guys enjoyed that well enough so I hope you like this too. If you read the last story than you're well aware of who Yoosung's soulmate is.
> 
> I haven't yet decided what kind of relationship the two of them will have, so we'll see where this takes us. I may even leave it ambiguous. We'll see.
> 
> Enjoy!

When he had been a child Yoosung had hated his soulmate. He had been in pain on a daily basis. He felt like no matter what he did he was being punished. His parents would cry about it each time Yoosung ran into their bedroom with new bruises crying for them to make the pain stop. There had been nothing they could do, though. 

 

Injuries would appear all over his skin as paintings of the agony his soulmate was going through. Yoosung didn’t understand why he had to suffer too. Wasn’t he a good child? He wasn’t religious like his cousin Rika was, but did that really mean God hated him so much? It was his soulmate’s fault. They must be doing something bad to deserve all of that punishment. Maybe they were the bad child. But didn’t that mean Yoosung was as well? After all, they were two halves of the same soul.

 

It wasn’t until Yoosung was older and understood more words did he grasp the concept of “abuse”. There was no way of knowing how old his soulmate was, but if they were a child like Yoosung then that meant they were experiencing abuse. It was the only explanation for the scars and the noticeable rope burn on his ankles. There had been days where Yoosung had fallen to his knees and curled up sobbing against the blows to his back by some unseen force.

 

He had never felt more connected to his soulmate than he did in those times.

 

Yoosung was in and out of the hospital a lot as a child as his parents begged for the doctors to do something to relieve their child of the pain. Yoosung got used to taking pain medications. He would put cooling pads on the worst of his wounds knowing that it should soothe both himself and his soulmate. 

 

One day when Yoosung had been twelve the beatings became worse. His eyes ached from crying even when he hadn’t been the one to cry. They always hurt. He was sure they were because of his soulmate. Yoosung had been in the hospital almost that entire time until one days the daily beatings and injuries just . . . stopped.

  
That terrified him more than anything else. Because as much as Yoosung had hated his soulmate, he couldn’t bear the thought that they might die. That would be worse than the beatings. He could feel it from somewhere deep inside of him that something would absolutely shatter and never heal if his soulmate was gone. It was only by that instinct alone that he knew his soulmate was still alive.

  
But then what had changed? Had they managed to escape their situation? Did they . . . kill the person who had been abusing them for years? Were they safe now? Were they in more danger? Yoosung had been twitchy about it for a long time following. 

 

Everyone who knew him in school knew about his situation with his soulmate. It wasn’t like the beatings had been reserved to a specific time of the day. It was horrible how the school had to adjust to the terror that Yoosung had to go through. That was why it was good to be normal for at least a little while. It was bad enough that most people didn’t hang out with him.

 

It was why Yoosung focused instead on his studies. He threw himself into his schoolwork and focused on his relationship with his cousin Rika. Rika who was so mature and perfect in his eyes. She had nursed him and his health a number of times in the past. She had soothed his tears and held him through the worst moments. She was his best friend. His only real friend because nobody wanted to be around an abuse victim.

 

“It’s horrible what happened to you, Yoosung.” Rika had murmured as she pressed a hand to his cheek. Yoosung couldn’t help his flinch. None of his family had ever hurt him -in fact they went out of their way to coddle him in an effort to fend off any possible mental and emotional effects the soulmate beatings might cause- but it was an automatic response to touch. It made Yoosung feel a little bitter. Would he ever be normal?

 

“I just . . . don’t understand why it had to be me.” He had confessed to her. “What did I do to deserve such a horrible soulmate?”

 

“I’m sure it’s not their fault. They can’t possibly be a bad person if they share your soul, Yoosung. They must be in a very unfortunate circumstance.”

 

If Rika believed that, then she must be right. He couldn’t hate someone who was just as much of a victim as he was. Yoosung had swallowed. “How can I help them?” He had asked softly -desperately.

 

“I don’t know.” She had responded, quiet and contemplative. Her eyes had been sympathetic as they had gazed into his. Something had swirled in those depths. There had been some emotion there that he couldn’t understand. “The pain in this world is so terrible . . .”

  
Yoosung could only agree.


	2. Ignorance

The RFA was a distraction that Yoosung had needed. He got to meet new people. He got to meet Luciel (or, as Yoosung tended to call him instead, Seven) and Zen and Jaehee. Yoosung had already known V and Jumin having met them a number of times because they had been Rika’s friends. 

 

Yoosung loved having new people who didn’t know his history of pain. They were people who hadn’t seen him being beaten every day. V had seen it a couple of times and he had been the one to hold Yoosung through it. He didn’t have pitying looks sent at him from all angles anymore. He finally had new sets of friends. And once he left high school and joined university, he would also have new friends there too!

 

His soulmate was in a better place, Yoosung was sure. He didn’t know how much better considering Yoosung could stare solemnly at the track marks forming on his inner arm, but they weren’t being beaten daily. He was thankful they didn’t share blood too.

 

He was scared.

 

Yoosung stopped hating his soulmate. He didn’t agree with their choice to do drugs, but he didn’t hate them for the pain from his childhood. He wanted to know what had happened to them. His hatred had turned into worry and then anger.

 

Whenever Yoosung was beaten down or injured now, he became furious. He couldn’t help his tears. He hated who hurt his soulmate. Why weren’t they safe? What did they do to deserve such a terrible life?

 

Yoosung would, however, be upset about the pain of getting such a complex tattoo on his arm unwillingly later. His mother had been furious. Yoosung’s skin stung for a long time afterwards. He didn’t like it at all. It was creepy and edgy and his few friends teased him about it.. Yoosung wished that he could’ve talked to Rika about the tattoo, but she was gone.

 

Yoosung felt very alone.

 

“Talk to me.” He begged as he wrote the same thing on his skin. “Please . . . please, just talk to me. I want to help.” 

 

His soulmate never responded to him. There were moments when Yoosung would wince as the area around his words reddened. It felt like his soulmate had tried to viciously rub the words away.

 

They didn’t want him to talk to them.

 

Yoosung didn’t stop trying, but he tried less and less as the draw of video games caught him and pulled him in more and more. At least in video games there weren’t any soulmates. He could just enjoy being a single person. If his body ached occasionally or he felt the pinch of a needle in his arm, then that was just how it was. 

 

Yoosung liked to pretend he didn’t have a soulmate on those days.


	3. Brighter

Yoosung was aware of his own faults. He wasn’t very manly. He played video games too much. He didn’t focus enough on school. He wasn’t very mature. He had no idea what he wanted to do with his future.

 

He could deal with all of this stuff. He had grown to either live with it, or willingly ignore it. But he couldn’t forgive himself for being a failure of a soulmate. 

 

He had done nothing to help his soulmate. He couldn’t track them down. They wouldn’t talk to him. He was too scared to write more on himself. He was useless. Nothing rankled at him more than this information. It pushed him deeper into the darkness that lingered on the edges of his mind that only binging LOLOL helped to fight off. 

 

He wanted to be better than who he was. He wanted to work harder and become a new person. But breaking old habits was hard. Before Rika had been the one to help him out. Even V had been a guiding hand. Now one was gone and the other he was estranged with.

 

The newest RFA member helped to change that a bit. He could see what they did for Seven. Yoosung could only watch in awe and horror at everything that happened around the RFA. Everything he was learning was wrong. Seven wasn’t who Yoosung thought he was. Rika had a horrible secret that led her to commit suicide. Yoosung still wasn’t strong enough to help no matter how much he asked.

 

But he also saw the aftermath of everything. He paid attention to how Seven changed with the influence of their new member. He had to let go of his anger towards V when the man passed away. Yoosung had to focus on helping Rika recover from the loss of her soulmate.

 

Seeing her like that . . . it killed a part of Yoosung. He saw what he could be like if his soulmate disappeared on him. Rika had been traumatized by it to the point that she wouldn’t even speak. She would stare off into the distance like Yoosung remembered dementia patients would. She only stared at the sky. 

 

Yoosung did what he could to help her, but he knew in his heart that she was already too far gone. He didn’t know when her physical body would leave, but she left the moment V was gone. There was nothing he could do to stop that.

 

He hated it.

 

In the wake of all of this confusion, at least there was happiness. Seven -Saeyoung, now that he confessed his true name to everyone finally- had found his soulmate. Yoosung and the others had already suspected that the newest RFA member had been his soulmate, but to see it confirmed was a joyous moment. Especially when Saeyoung had revealed it at the same time as his marriage proposal.

 

On top of that exciting news was Saeran, Saeyoung’s twin brother, joining the RFA. Yoosung didn’t know what to think of the other man. Saeyoung hadn’t allowed anyone to meet Saeran while the man had been recovering from the demented actions of Mint Eye. Now that Yoosung had properly been able to meet Saeran he could only think that man was quiet.

 

Also that he was tired. He held a sickness about him that Yoosung had recognized from his own bad days. He held his arms and didn’t meet anyone’s gazes, but did occasionally look around him curiously. Yoosung wondered how he would look smiling.

 

Four out of the seven remaining RFA members had found their soulmates. Between what had occurred to V and Rika, Jumin and Zen’s relationship, and Saeyoung and his lover, Yoosung didn't know what to expect anymore from soulmates. 

  
He noticed that his soulmate wasn’t in pain anymore at least. He hoped it was a sign of better times soon.


	4. Knowledge

Saeyoung was acting strange, but that was nothing new. What was new, however, was how he hadn’t tried to tease Yoosung in a while. It was rather sad and annoying in Yoosung’s opinion that he would be able to notice a change in his friend’s behavior based solely on how much or how little he teased Yoosung. Not that Saeyoung wasn’t already distinctly different from the person Yoosung had known the past couple of years, but this was a new thing entirely.

 

For example: Saeyoung avoided his eyes more. He would study Yoosung harder when he thought the other man wasn’t looking. He would try to slot himself between Yoosung and Saeran. 

 

Why? Yoosung had no clue.

 

It wasn’t like Yoosung was even that close to Saeran, yet it felt like Saeyoung was trying to keep them apart. Not that Yoosung had anything really against Saeran. If anything Yoosung felt especially more protective over the other man considering he had been brainwashed and used just like Rika had been. It didn’t matter that Saeran was older than him; Yoosung couldn’t help his fierce protectiveness.

 

Maybe that was why Saeyoung was getting between them. Did he think Yoosung was trying to take his role as a brother? That was ridiculous, though! Yoosung would have to correct him. He would never take his brother away from him -especially since he just got him back.

 

“Saeyoung?” Yoosung caught the man before he could leave. His lover also paused on their way back to the car. It had been a long and arduous battle for Yoosung to put up with the amount of teasing he had received from both of them during their group day out, but it had been worth it for this moment. Yoosung had been working up his courage long enough to finally talk to his friend. “Before you go, I, uh, I wanted to say something.”

 

“This is it!” Saeyoung stage-whispered to his lover. “He’s finally going to confess to me!”

 

“We can finally have the three-way you’ve always dreamed of!” They whispered back.

 

Yoosung felt his cheeks heat up even as Saeyoung also blushed, for once outmaneuvered. It was worth it to see Saeyoung so flustered. That was one good thing about having them around: they kept Saeyoung in place . . . when they weren’t helping him.

 

“Stop itttt!” Yoosung whined.

 

“But it’s so fun~!” They teased.

 

They were ridiculous. This was an arduous task indeed. If anything Yoosung felt his resolve hardening a bit more. He would need to be quick. He spun to face his friend.

 

“Saeyoung, you know that I’m not going to steal your brother away from you, right?” 

 

Saeyoung looked taken aback. It was the most shocked that Yoosung had ever seen him. “What?”

 

“Saeran? I’m not trying to steal your position of brother from you.” 

 

Abruptly Saeyoung looked uncomfortable. “Uh. Okay.” That was confusing. Was Yoosung wrong in his assumption? He furrowed his brows as Saeyoung shared a look with his lover. They stared at their husband pointedly. Saeyoung looked away from both of his companions. He was hiding something. Saeyoung was always hiding something, but this was even more suspicious than usual.

 

“Oh my God, Saeyoung. You can’t do this.” His lover cried, exasperated as they placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “You haven’t told him yet?”

 

“Told me what?” Yoosung asked.

 

“Ugh, well  _ now _ he knows I have something.” Saeyoung shot them a glare and huffed. He closed his eyes and took a breath before steadying out his gaze and meeting Yoosung’s eyes. “Listen, um, well,” he scratched at his hair, “I . . . know who your soulmate is.”

 

“ _ WHAT _ !” Yoosung cried, jumping back in his shock. “Who is it? Tell me!”

 

Saeyoung shook his head quickly. “No, I . . . I can’t. I can’t.”

 

“ _ Yes _ , you  _ can _ .” Yoosung pressed into his friend’s space. Saeyoung knew his soulmate. How did he find out? Did he find them on the streets? Were they nearby this entire time and Yoosung hadn’t known? He needed to know now. He wouldn’t hold back if Saeyoung tried to keep it from him. “Tell me, please!”

 

“Saeyoung-” His lover tried, but Saeyoung shook his head again.

 

“I can’t.” He insisted.

 

Now Yoosung was angry. All this time he had been terrified for his soulmate. All of the pain they both went through . . . the abuse . . . the hardship . . . Saeyoung couldn’t be completely oblivious to it. Knowing him, he had probably looked up Yoosung’s medical records to be nosy like he usually was. He had to know that Yoosung had suffered and so had his soulmate. Yoosung needed to know that his soulmate was okay. He needed to know they were safe now.

 

He grabbed the front of Saeyoung’s shirt and brought him in close to his face. “You know what I’ve gone through,” he hissed, soft but threatening, “so you  _ need _ to tell me: who. Is. My. Soulmate?”

 

Saeyoung, though startled, did not appear to bend under Yoosung’s threat. His eyes only softened some with pity and sympathy. His lover beside him said nothing, but anxiously rubbed their hands together while biting their lip. They knew too, he realized. His friends were withholding this information from him. He didn’t know if he wanted to forgive that. 

 

Saeyoung gently grabbed Yoosung’s hands and pried them from his shirt, his face set. Yoosung knew the level of stubborn his friend could be. It was infuriating that this would be one of the situations he would use it for. “I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere. “But it wouldn’t be right if I gave it away. I . . . don’t know if they would want you to know. And it’s too private for me to give it away.”

 

“Saeyoung!” Yoosung cried, horrified. He turned to their other companion instead. “Come on! Please, you have to tell me! Please!”

 

Saeyoung quickly cut his lover off before they could possibly respond, tugging Yoosung’s attention back to him. “We can’t give it away . . . but try talking to them. Ask them yourself.”

 

“They wouldn’t even tell me if they were alright!” Yoosung yelled, throwing his hands out to the side in frustration. “What makes you think they’ll talk to me at all? We haven’t communicated ever!”

 

“They might this time!” Saeyoung insisted.

 

Yoosung felt angry tears in his eyes. It wasn’t fair. The knowledge of his soulmate was so close yet so far. Saeyoung was the one who stood between him and the knowledge. In that moment he hated his friend. 

 

He turned away, unable to stand the sight of them. He took a deep breath and tried to fight his tears. He shouldn’t be so quick to cry. It wasn’t manly. 

 

“Just . . . just tell me one thing.” He pleaded quietly. “Just tell me if they’re safe.”

 

“They are.” His friend said before Saeyoung could. If Saeyoung was even going to tell him that. “They’re safe, I promise.”

 

Yoosung nodded once sharply feeling relief rush through his veins. It wasn’t enough to calm his anger, but it helped. His soulmate was safe.

  
  


“Yoosung-” Saeyoung called and Yoosung felt a hand on his shoulder, but Yoosung shook his hand off and walked away. 

  
He wondered if his soulmate was happy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tempted to also do some kind of short soulmate fic for Zen and Jumin after this one is done.


	5. His

Yoosung stared at the skin of his hand and hesitated with a marker over his wrist. It would be so simple, he thought, to just go ahead and write something. He had to make the attempt to communicate again at some point, but he was nervous. Fear held his hand back. 

 

What if his soulmate tried to scratch the words off of their skin again? He could still remember the pain from their rough treatment of their body. It was the biggest “LEAVE ME ALONE” Yoosung thought a soulmate could give to their other half. He wasn’t so sure he should bother them again.

 

But Saeyoung had told him to try because he refused to give Yoosung the name of his soulmate. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Yoosung really should just take the initiative and try to talk, but Saeyoung probably didn’t know how little his soulmate really wanted to do with him.

 

And so he hesitated.

 

That being said now that Yoosung’s righteous anger had calmed down some he could understand why Saeyoung refused to tell him anything. Soulmates were personal. Saeyoung telling Yoosung anything about his soulmate was almost as embarrassing and invasive as someone walking in on him in the bathroom. It was private. The fact that Saeyoung even knew who his soulmate was before Yoosung itched unpleasantly at Yoosung’s mind. Nobody should know before him.

 

Even so, Saeyoung should have told him! It wasn’t fair!

 

His phone rang and he saw it was from the RFA app. He recognized his friend immediately as Saeyoung’s partner. Yoosung’s mouth tightened with displeasure before he sighed as he capped and dropped his marker on desk in front of him. He picked up his phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi, Yoosung. Did you eat yet?” They asked. There was a hesitancy in their voice. Maybe they felt guilty.

 

“Yeah, I had an omelet for breakfast. How about you?”

 

“Nothing for me today. I’m going to have a big lunch, so I’ll fill up later.”

 

“You should still have something! It’s not good for you!” He could already hear his mother’s lectures. She had really scarred him after Jumin’s intrusion on his life. Yoosung hoped that Zen had given the man hell for that considering Yoosung hadn’t really had time to do so. 

 

They laughed. “Okay. I’ll have some milk later.” They paused for a long time. Yoosung could practically hear their discomfort even as they pushed through and then asked, “Have you contacted your soulmate yet?”

 

Yoosung cleared his throat. “No.” He admitted. He shifted awkwardly in his seat as he eyed the marker. 

 

“Oh. Um, why? Can I ask why, I mean. Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.” He assured them. He didn’t like sharing, but he supposed that since they  _ also _ knew who his soulmate was then maybe they would tell him. “I just . . . I don’t know if they want me to contact them.”

 

“Did they tell you that?” They asked. There was amusement there now.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“Nothing, it’s just. I get that, haha!” They giggled a bit. “If I can say then I’ll tell you that Saeyoung often went back and forth between talking to me and completely shutting me out. For, well, obvious reasons he didn’t want me in contact with him. For my own safety.”

 

Yoosung had never thought about that before. He wondered how much they had gone through with Saeyoung. He had been so mysterious with the rest of the RFA but so silly with his lover even before they had gotten together that Yoosung had always assumed that things had been fairly smooth sailing for the two of them . . . although he could still recall the cold way Saeyoung had treated them when he had found out about Mint Eye . . . 

 

Actually, no, yeah, Yoosung could completely understand what they were referring to.

 

“Oh . . . so you know what I mean about your soulmate not wanting contact . . .?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

He wasn’t sure what to say in response to that.

 

“If it makes you feel more at ease . . . persistence seems to be key.” They informed him. “Sometimes little things make all of the difference. Even if it’s just drawing on your skin. It reminds the person of your presence in their life. You guys are soulmates, after all, and I’m sure they want to know you just as much as you want to know them.”

 

Yoosung could feel his face burning at the thought. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling when his stomach flipped at the thought.

 

“A-Ah, maybe you’re right?” He laughed nervously. “I think I’ll try!” 

 

“Yay!” They cheered. Yoosung faintly heard what sounded like Saeyoung in the background, but they shushed him. His whine was audible. “Seriously, try it. I’m sure it will go great! If anything, you’ll have a new friend right?”

 

“Y-Yeah.”

 

“I’ll go now. I think we’ve embarrassed ourselves enough tonight. I’ve reached maximum invasiveness by this point.” They laughed to themselves while Yoosung rubbed at his still warm cheeks. At least they weren’t as bad as Zen about it all. Better than just chatting about it in the chatroom so openly.

 

“Have a good day, then. Please eat something!”

 

“I will! Bye!” 

 

Yoosung hung up his phone and found his gaze back on his marker. Now that he thought about it, he had no idea what kind of relationship he wished to have with his soulmate. He’d had the occasional romantic fantasy about walking hand-in-hand with a lovely girl that suited him perfectly, but that fantasy had usually been interrupted by the dark reality of his sore body. He never really let himself fantasize about anything other than happiness for his soulmate so he could finally have relief as well.

 

It was still a hard concept to grasp. He supposed at this point anything would be fine. He just wanted to know who they are. Were they male or female? What made them get the creepy tattoo that they both now sported? Who hurt them? Why didn’t they ever try to contact Yoosung? What were their favorite foods? Where did they live? Did they ever want to meet him in person?

 

He had so much to ask them. But first, he needed to actually take the first step.

 

Yoosung took a deep and slightly shaky breath before picking up his marker and writing on his hand,  _ Have you eaten today? _

 

That was silly. It was so silly. Why had he written that? That was really going to be his first words to them since so long ago? He should erase it. Try again. Maybe they hadn’t yet noticed that he had written on them. God, he hoped they didn’t think he was an idiot.

 

He was already rushing to lick his thumb and wipe off the words when he felt the strange sensation of pen on his hand. He stared, stunned, to see words appear for the first time on him. It was . . . it was amazing to watch. His body had only ever been painted with bruises, pain, and a tattoo. Never before had he felt something so . . . nice. It made him shiver.

 

_ Yes _

 

It wasn’t much, but it meant the world to Yoosung. He ran his thumb over the word, marvelling. 

 

His soulmate.  _ His _ soulmate. 

 

His heart swelled and his eyes filled with tears before he quickly blinked them away. More words appeared on his skin slowly, hesitantly.

 

_ Did you? _

 

Yoosung pressed his forehead to the words and squeezed his eyes shut.

  
His soulmate. Finally.


	6. Communication

It was slow going. Yoosung’s soulmate didn’t respond often and even when they did it tended to be short words or sentences. Yoosung found his arms becoming blotchy from the marker he continued to put to his skin and that he wiped off after a few minutes time. His paler skin was being stained blue. He could put up with that, though, because he didn’t want to stop talking to his soulmate when he had the chance. Maybe he had caught them on a good day? Or maybe Saeyoung and his lover had talked to Yoosung’s soulmate?

 

Did his soulmate know who Yoosung was? 

 

There were still all these questions that Yoosung wanted to ask, but instead he had been sitting there making small talk.

 

_ How’s the weather where you’re at? _

 

_ How are you today? _

 

_ I feel nervous. I’m glad I finally get to talk to you!! _

 

He would put a star after all of his exclamation points. He couldn’t help it. 

 

He was just happy his soulmate was finally responding to him, but Yoosung wanted to ask more. He want to talk to them in person. He wanted to call them. He wasn’t sure he had the courage to ask, though.

 

It was only after a long period of time did his soulmate finally ask  _ aren’t you tired? sleep. _

 

_ What about you? _ Yoosung wrote back trying hard to keep his heavy eyes opened. He was beginning to lament the loss of his LOLOL days. He could’ve stayed up all night back then. Now due to Jumin’s interference and Yoosung’s mother, Yoosung was finally back to being a good student and getting up early.

 

_ Sleep. _ The words had a finality to it. Even without pushing, Yoosung could sense he would not receive any more responses tonight. He wondered how he knew that as disappointment filled him.

 

At least, he thought as he climbed into the shower to give himself a quick scrub and to clean his arm of ink, he seemed to have established communication. That was better than what he’d had before. It was a shockingly strong relief that surged through him knowing that his soulmate hadn’t tried to scratch off his words again.

 

Still, though, he was rather annoyed with his own cowardice. He should’ve at least tried to breach the subject of their past together. He would just have to content himself to quietly waiting. He would get to know his soulmate more. He would prefer to have a phone number or email or something. Writing on the skin was fun, but he was worried about being poisoned. Texting was easier.

 

However the following few nights fell along the same lines. His soulmate would respond to him, at least, but they were still short responses. Yoosung had to find creative ways to communicate with him. He had tried tickling himself, drawing badly on himself, and even just poking. Just something new to get his soulmate to talk. There wasn’t much effect.

 

It must be because the two of them weren’t particularly close to each other. There were rumors that the closer soulmates were to each other, the more easily they could feel what the other felt. But those were rumors. Science never confirmed it because soulmates didn’t like talking about it. It was hard to trust the internet about these types of things. It was embarrassing.

 

Yoosung daydreamed a bit of what it would be like to actually meet his soulmate. Would it be like the shoujo manga he had read before and the connection would just be automatic? Would he recognize them on sight? Would he be drawn inexplicably to them? The thoughts all made his heart pound.

 

Saeyoung was no help on the matter. He attempted to cheer Yoosung on, but Yoosung was still a little huffy with him. He was starting to forgive the other man, though. He could still understand where Saeyoung had been coming from. Yoosung had at least forgiven him enough that he was back to visiting his house again.

 

Saeyoung kept his house chilly all of the time due to the sheer amount of electronics he kept in there. It also explained why he still wore that jacket all of the time, Yoosung thought. He was prepared for the chill when he came to visit, but unfortunately he had worn too much. He was sweating beneath both his sweater and his jacket. He was regretting wearing both. 

 

He hovered near the bathroom unsure of if he wanted to go in and take off his sweater and just wear his jacket or if he wanted to just deal with it. If he took off his sweater, he risked exposing his tattoo. Not that his friends weren’t aware of it, but Yoosung didn’t like showing it off. He wasn’t sure if he should bother going into the bathroom to hide, though.

 

He glanced towards the living room where Saeyoung and his lover were battling it out on a video game, shouting at each other and pushing into each other’s spaces. They would be distracted. He didn’t know where Saeran was, or if the man was even home. Yoosung had yet to see him. It should be okay. He couldn’t wait anymore.

 

Yoosung moved away from the bathroom door and shucked off his jacket and hurried to pull off his sweater, keeping hopefully well out of sight from his friends. He was in the process of dropping the sweater to the floor and pulling his jacket back on when the door behind him opened. Yoosung spun around, startled, to see Saeran standing in the doorway to his own bedroom. Just his luck. Saeran actually  _ had _ been home.

 

Saeran’s eyes zeroed in on the dramatic and large black tattoo on Yoosung’s shoulder. His eyes widened some at the sight. “H-Hi!” Yoosung scrambled to pull his jacket on and hide the tattoo again.

 

“Oh.” Saeran murmured, and his eyes met Yoosung’s. He still wore his contacts, Yoosung noticed, despite the fact that he didn’t have to. Maybe he didn’t want to wear glasses like Saeyoung. “It’s you.”

 

“Sorry!” Yoosung gathered up his sweater. “I was just-it was so-it was hot.” He finished weakly. Saeran made him nervous. The man was nice enough, but he always gave off a strange atmosphere. He never liked to talk. Yoosung still didn’t know how to act around him. He tried to regain his bearings. “I didn’t realize you were home.”

 

Saeran was quiet in response, his eyes dropping again to Yoosung’s shoulder. Yoosung rubbed at it self-consciously. “. . . It’s not mine.” He confessed when Saeran didn’t say anything. “It’s my soulmate’s.” He laughed a bit. “It’s shocking, isn’t it?”

 

“. . . Yes, it is.” Saeran said before moving around Yoosung. Yoosung didn’t know what had just happened, but he felt as if it may be significant. He shook it off as he heard Saeyoung greet his twin. Yoosung tugged a bit on the sleeve of his jacket to adjust it before he followed after. He wondered when his soulmate would contact him today.


	7. Success and Failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drabbles continue!

It happened while Yoosung was in the middle of class doing a test, which was arguably the worst possible place his soulmate could’ve decided to contact him and actually talk to him.

 

_I know who you are_

Yoosung’s chest about seized as he gasped aloud at the sight of the words written on his arm. His classmates around him gave him cursory glances in confusion about the gasp, but Yoosung quickly leaned forward over his test to hide his arm.

 

 _You do?!_ He asked quickly before turning back to his test. He glanced up at the clock. Oh God, he only had so much time! What was this formula again?? He could only think about his soulmate.

 

God, his soulmate knew who he was?!

 

 _Yes_ Came the response a few moments later.

 

 _How?_ Yoosung scribbled just something down. Anything to have words and numbers on his paper. He was so going to fail this test. Not like he really knew much on it anyway. The teacher must have taught this stuff on one of the days Yoosung had skipped and stayed home.

 

_You have my tattoo_

 

What? When? Yoosung never showed off the tattoo when he could help it. Had his soulmate somehow seen it on school campus? Was his soulmate that close? Maybe that was how Saeyoung had found out? He wanted to know.

 

_Can we meet then? I want to meet you!_

For a long time, his soulmate didn’t respond. For a long time, Yoosung continued to not be able to focus on his test. How long did he waste staring at his arm? He licked his thumb and quickly wiped off his last response and instead wrote _Please_!

 

Finally his soulmate responded to him. _What if your soulmate is someone you shouldn’t want to know?_

It was the longest thing that his soulmate had ever written to him. Yoosung was practically shaking. He paid no mind to the people around him who were getting up to turn in their tests and leave.

 

_I don’t care. I want to know._

 

_What if it just hurts you?_

_I want to be sure you’re okay._

Again there was a long pause. It was long enough that Yoosung started to panic. _No no no no, please…please answer me!_ He begged internally. He probably was shaking by now.

 

Finally he felt the pen on his arm again. _I’m okay now._

 

He could cry hearing those words. The thought that maybe neither of them would have to experience pain ever again. That both of them would no longer have scars to add to their collection on their bodies. That the track marks on his arm and the crescent-shaped indents from fingernails biting into his skin will fade away and stay away. Maybe his soulmate could be happy.

 

_I’m glad…But…can I still meet you? Please._

 

“Yoosung Kim.” Yoosung’s head shot up at the sound of his name. His teacher gave him a stern look and tapped his wrist. Yoosung looked over at the clock and saw he had five minutes left. He bit back a screech of horror when he realized that only half of his test was done. There was no way he could finish in time. He desperately wrote down what he could before time ran out, ignoring the words appearing on his arm again.

 

When he got done what he could, he scrambled up and gathered his stuff before rushing to turn in his test. “Sorry!” He called and dashed out of the room, horribly embarrassed. He would have to face that teacher again in a couple of days. His grade would be so bad. He couldn’t let his mom find out about this. He would never hear the end of her lecture.

 

Wait, his soulmate had responded to him!

 

He pushed up the sleeve of his jacket as he moved through the hallways and froze at the words he read there. _Okay_.

 

That was all it said. Yoosung reread the previous conversation until he got to that point again. Okay? Okay?? He was going to meet his soulmate?!

 

Shakily he pulled out his pen and wrote on his skin, _When?_ _Where?_

 

He was going to meet his soulmate!!


	8. Meeting

****

Yoosung couldn’t sit still. He was in a park in the middle of the city waiting to finally meet his soulmate. After 22 years he would finally get to meet the person who shared half of his soul. He would get to see the face of the person who had caused him so many problems all of his life, but who had suffered just as much as Yoosung had. Yoosung would finally get to help them.

 

Would they be a man or a woman? What would they want from Yoosung? What did Yoosung want from them? Friendship? Romance? His mind said romance, but he didn’t know for sure. All he could think about were all of the shoujo manga he had read. He thought about how romantic it all was and it made his heart swell. He wanted something like that, but he didn’t know if it was possible. His soulmate had been hesitant to even talk to him. He wished that he could have a relationship like Saeyoung and his lover had. That had been a romantic story.

 

As for Yoosung, he couldn’t look past his intense need to just check on his soulmate. To just make sure for himself that they were alright. He could think about anything further from there. He could take his time. But he needed to take this first step before he could do any of that.

 

The grass crunched beneath approaching feet, causing him to leave his thoughts. He startled to actually see Saeyoung, Saeran, and Saeyoung’s lover walking over. All three looked to be varying levels of unsure or nervous.

 

“Wha-what? Saeyoung?? How did you find me here?” Actually, Yoosung was more baffled to see Saeyoung outside of his house at all without prompting. “Did you somehow track my phone?”

 

“What?” Saeyoung asked. “Dude, no. I don’t _always_ hack your stuff to track your GPS coordinates. I’ve got a life, you know.”

 

“Oh.” Yoosung conceded that point. Saeyoung was married now, after all, he probably didn’t have time to do a bunch of the weird stuff he used to. Wait, did that mean he used to-

 

Whatever thought had been trying to enter his mind, it was wiped away in the wake of Yoosung’s suspicion. “Did you somehow know I would be here?” He couldn’t help the tiny bit of bitter anger enter his tone. He still hadn’t fully forgiven Saeyoung for not telling Yoosung who his soulmate was. Were the two of them close enough friends that his soulmate had actually told Saeyoung they were meeting? Why else would Saeyoung be there?

 

Saeyoung scratched his head and instead said nothing. His eyes darted to Saeran. His lover’s eyes jumped back and forth between Saeran and Yoosung. Yoosung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He looked to Saeran then. The man had yet to meet his eyes and was holding his arm. Yoosung surreptitiously glanced at his phone for the time. His soulmate should be here soon.

 

“Saeyoung,” Saeyoung’s lover murmured, leaning against him and into his ear. Their whisper was still fairly loud in the quiet park, though, “back up a bit with me.” They took his hand and the two of them took a couple of slightly-exaggerated steps backwards. Saeran gave them a dead-eyed look, clearly unamused. They both gave him a thumbs up. Saeyoung’s lover made a “go on” motion.

 

It was then that Yoosung understood and he stood up quickly. Saeran startled at him movement, finally looking at him in the face. Yoosung really looked at him now.

 

He had never really thought a whole lot about Saeyoung’s twin brother. He had suffered at the hands of Mint Eye, he knew, and Yoosung was just happy the man had been rescued. He was quiet and somewhat unnerving, although he seemed to be hesitantly opening up to the RFA now that he was a part of it. Yoosung hadn’t had the chance to really hang out with him before except that one time he had been at Saeyoung’s house a couple of weeks ago to play video games.

 

Now, though, things began to click together.

 

His soulmate had suffered their entire life that Yoosung knew about. He didn’t know the details of Saeyoung’s childhood, but he recalled that his friend had said that his parents hadn’t been fit to take care of them. Yoosung’s parents had always suspected that Yoosung’s soulmate had been abused. Suddenly that all made sense.

 

And then there was that gap in time before the pain had started up again. Was that when Saeran had been in Mint Eye? What horrible things had that cult done to him? A shudder ran down Yoosung’s spine at the thought. He could still recall the pain. No wonder Saeyoung had been so desperate to rescue his brother.

 

This was why Saeyoung had refused to tell Yoosung anything. He had been respecting his brother’s privacy. Maybe even his wishes not to say anything. Yoosung couldn’t blame the man for keeping his silence. Yoosung had only wished that he could’ve been trusted more.

 

Saeran opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it unable to find whatever words he had been about to say. Yoosung’s throat felt thick and like it was burning. If he cried, he wouldn’t be ashamed of it. He had already told himself this before he had even came to the rendezvous point.

 

“Can…Can I see it?” He asked hesitantly and pointed at Saeran’s shoulder. The man gripped his arm tighter, uncertain, before he dropped his arm. Carefully, and without dropping his eyes from Yoosung’s sight, he shrugged off the edge of his sweater to pull it down over his shoulder. Yoosung didn’t need to see the entirety of tattoo there to know.

 

His eyes teared up. Saeran hurriedly adjusted his sweater back into place. Yoosung wondered what kind of expression he was making.

 

“Yoosung…I…” Saeran attempted to speak, but Yoosung didn’t let him. He was already hugging the man before he could even contemplate the action. Saeran stiffened in his hold. He was only slightly taller than Yoosung, the man realized. Yoosung shifted his arms to be more comfortable around him as he began to cry a bit.

 

“You’re okay!” He cried, breath stuttering in an effort not to sob. His tears were heavy with his relief and grief as he understood more about his soulmate without even speaking. “Saeran…Saeran…! I’m so glad! I’m so glad you’re finally safe!”

 

Saeran said nothing for a long period of time, allowing Yoosung his moment to just take in the fact that his worry could finally be assuaged. The pain and overwhelming terror and fury over his soulmate’s mysterious well-being was finally slowly melting away.

 

After a few moments, Yoosung felt arms come around behind his own back. The tentative hug warmed him as his tears began to fade. He leaned back in Saeran’s hold and wiped at his eyes with a wide smile. The man seemed to flounder on whether or not he should let Yoosung go. Yoosung then said the words he had always been hoping to tell his soulmate.

 

“Hi!” He said as he held out his hand in offering. “I’m Yoosung Kim! I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you.”

 

Saeran’s face flushed, making Yoosung gape in surprise. The man swallowed thickly before looking away and carefully taking Yoosung’s hand.

 

“Hello.” He responded quietly. “I’m Saeran Choi.”

 

And Yoosung laughed as he squeezed Saeran’s hand and resisted the urge to hug him again. “Saeran, there’s so much I want to talk to you about!”

 

“How about a double date?” Saeyoung’s lover suddenly interrupted, startling both Saeran and Yoosung from the bubble that had become their own. Both of them looked towards the other couple, wide-eyed with shock. Saeyoung was beaming, ecstatic, while his hand was clenched in his lover’s. His lover only began to laugh at the twin looks on Saeran and Yoosung’s faces. “I know a good ice cream shop nearby! Why don’t we all go, if you don’t mind?”

 

“Yeah! It sounds great, right?” Saeyoung added, looking directly at his brother.

 

Yoosung looked to Saeran and Saeran looked to him. Yoosung only idly made note of the fact neither of them had released each other’s hands. Yoosung wasn’t sure he was ready to break the connection yet.

 

Saeran turned back to his brother and nodded. “Okay.”

 

Yoosung smiled. “Yeah! Let’s go, then!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that's it for this story! I'm not sure what else I would do with these drabbles, to be honest. I'm tempted to do a JuZen oneshot (mostly to talk about how the men realized they were soulmates and about the situation they both are in now) but it's debatable. Lmk what you think on that.
> 
> Thank you for the wait! I know you waited quite a while for just two short chapters but thank you for sticking with me! See you in some of my other stories!


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